We can because we believe we can

Time for a Spring Clean?…..

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

As the flowers begin to burst open and the colour returns to our landscape after what seems like a very long winter, apart from making everyone feel that little bit more energetic and positive it is also (I find) a great time for a ‘spring clean’!

Throughout the change in my life this last year and the various experiences and challenges I have come across I have also learnt (and perhaps this is through getting older and wiser too!) that we are only here once and time is very precious. The people in my life are very special to me but have had some that were a drain, a stress and quite frankly sapped my energy and enthusiasm for life. As much as I would like to help, support and ‘carry’ people through life this is a poor use of my time; being carried makes you lazy, and when you get lazy you take things for granted, and when you take things for granted you become selfish, and when you become selfish you become a negative energy and drain on those around you….. We all have experienced being the ‘carrier’ and while I am happy to do this to some extent there comes a point when you have to take a reality check, what does this person or people do for you, how do you feel when you come away from spending time in their company and is it time for a ‘Spring Clean!!’???

It is true what they say about counting your true friends on one hand, and goodness I feel so blessed to just about be able to do that, some of the friends I count on that hand I have known for most of my life and some others are new joiners, what I have realised though is there is nothing wrong with changing these people, why should we keep negative aspects in our life still part of our life? One would not keep going back to stroke a dog that bites although I hear so many friends that continue to keep relationships that clearly sap all their energy, make for negative thoughts and feelings and all because they are afraid of change, challenge and being lonely. Now don’t get me wrong because I have been there and got many T-shirts for getting bitten again and again, but as my journey through life allows my path to cross with new people it has begun to dawn on me that relationships change, dynamics and situations alter but as they do instead of remaining static don’t be afraid to change with them. For me this means going back to find and in some cases ‘re-launch’ old relationships that I have realised were and still are very special to me and also it means dropping the people who make me feel exhausted and depressed after spending time with them.

Friendships for me mean laughter, freedom and being able to be me, not judging or challenging just easy and forgiving no matter what kind of day I have had. Spending free time that re-charges my batteries is an absolute must, we all work hard and often deal with conflict and challenges we are not in direct control of, why then in our free time would we choose to place ourselves back into uncomfortable or draining relationships when we have a choice to do what we want? I guess this month’s blog has been written as I go through this exercise myself, especially as my job and work time is so challenging and tiring that my free time becomes even more precious. As a good friend of mine said, whilst checking in to a champagne bar at 12pm on a Friday, ‘We only live once!’ it did make me think about the way and who I live my life with, we often don’t have a choice about the people we work with but we ALL have the choice who we love, support, laugh and spend our leisure time with…. don’t allow this precious time to be taken up with negative people, I have done in the past and so now adopt my ‘spring clean’ strategy that means I am blessed with people around me that give me energy, love me for who I am, never judge my life and in return I do the same for them….

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