We can because we believe we can

Change….It’s like Marmite!

Saturday, August 28th, 2010

Change….. it’s like Marmite!

Ever since I left the comfort of a consistent job (although the only thing I now realise was consistent was the way I felt about it!) I have been amazed at how my opinion has altered, mind adapted and soul revived by thoroughly enjoying the changing life and world around me.

I always believed that to feel ‘safe and content’ you required a certain ‘status quo’ in life, however this only serves as a false comfort blanket and  we are never spared of the ultimate outcome of life in general… everything changes in the end.

Have you ever found something, someone or a situation that is just out of this world, perfect in every way and makes you very happy? I have been lucky enough to find many, but as time has gone by the situation, feelings and experience has altered or changed so that I no longer find the experience as I first did. My immediate reaction was to question why, how could something so good turn into something ok? Why had my feelings changed?

I have learnt over the past year that when you have those great experiences, the ones you want to hold onto forever it’s better to enjoy them, cherish the moment and allow the fact that time will change and something will come along to replace that experience and feeling with another one, it’s different but just as great!

Shine4Life has seen much change over the last year and sometimes not always in the way I had initially imagined! – However I have made the most of every situation and best of all learnt how ‘not’ to do things for future reference! Through change I have grown stronger, more resilient, and learnt a few more choice expletives along the way when learning how to build a website, install a PC or remotely access documents with IT skills that can only be described as pre-historic!!

I now start my second contract role with another Investment Bank and the team, office and work is certainly very different! My initial feelings were of sadness to leave my new friends and colleagues I had made in my first contract, I had begun to feel safe and content, but what I then realised was that for the first time in my life I was leaving something great before my feelings changed, leaving on a high was a wonderful thing and although sad has left me with a warm heart, great contacts and friends and an increased energy for my new role. So onwards I move to start over again, making new relationships, winning new support and enjoying another challenge that I know Shine4Life can deliver on.

So with my experiences of the past year behind me, my first annual return complete it is just as well I love marmite because change has been a continuous thing for me….. but hang on isn’t change a continuous thing for everyone?

I leave you with my final thoughts and a quote I think beautifully positions ‘change’ and the reason why embracing and trusting it leads to a greater, more complete and fulfilled life, a life that does not shy away from challenge or shudder at the thought of change but looks for the good in every situation and makes the most of our life each day, for who knows what tomorrow will bring.

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.
Gail Sheehy 

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A reminder to laugh …. are we all too serious?

Sunday, July 25th, 2010

This month’s blog is written with a light heart and a warm smile – I am sitting on my bed this Sunday morning with the day ahead full of those admin tasks that are always on the ‘to do’ list that appears to expand each week just like my handbag collection that needs strict restrictions applied and fast!

As much as it is important to take time to deal with the essential bills, filing and general house keeping it is also important to keep the soul alive, enjoy your friends, family and life. For the last five months I have had an incredible contract with one of our major banks that whilst being challenging, motivating and empowering has also left me little time for anything else. It becomes very easy to engross oneself in work, especially when you enjoy what you are doing. I had become unaware of how much I was working until a city break last weekend opened my eyes to the importance of laughter, time out and leaving work behind on a Friday afternoon – yes it will still be there on Monday morning!

They say laughter is the best form of medicine and research has shown that it increases your blood flow, may reduce the risk of heart disease and has also been found to help fight infection, relieve hay fever and help ease pain. Well that’s great to hear and who knows it may be true, all I know is how it makes me feel – ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!!

Last weekend was a harsh reminder that as adults we so often take everything so seriously, forgetting the importance of fun, laughter and happiness that helps keep our spirits high, hearts light and mind sane. When was the last time you really laughed? – and I mean REALLY!, when the sides of your tummy ache and your cheeks feel so sore they could burst – I laughed like that last weekend and had forgotten how great it is. The world passes us by so fast and it appears with technology that it just gets faster – we are no longer content to take things easy, often seeing time as a restriction and hindrance in getting what we want, and when we get there we no longer enjoy celebrating our success, only looking to what next and the desire to ‘keep up with the Jones’s’. This is a sad effect that money, success and status has had on our economy and whilst I myself am always striving to be the best in my field, deliver over and above in the work that I do, I am also reminded than in order to maintain these high standards the mind and body desperately need ‘down time’ and a chance to re-charge.

There is a happy medium to be had by all and the first step to this is reminding yourself to laugh, have fun and sometimes return to those cheeky childhood years that found you sticking chewing gum to your teacher’s seat, raiding the larder for midnight feasts and drenching your siblings during the summer water fights!!! – So often we forget these precious memories that have made us who we are today.

So as we move into August, summer holidays and the familiar sound of ice-cream vans, I would encourage you to take time out, slow down a little and keep the corners of your mouth curling up at least 5 times a day!!! – There is no substitute for that belly laugh; even if it does give you more wrinkles!!!

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.  ~e.e. cummings

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Where does the time go?

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Well my last blog was written on the 14^th February and I always wanted to write a blog a month to keep you all up to date with Shine4Life news – but even with the best of intensions things sometimes lapse and before you know it a few months have flown by and we are now half way through 2010!

SO with this in mind I have put this gorgeous Sunday morning aside to give an update on my business, my next steps and also getting ready to celebrate my 1^st year as a business owner!

Where do I start with what’s been going on? – well since my last blog and having survived the coldest winter I can remember followed by a wet and windy April and May we have entered June and it’s still a good idea to leave the house with an umbrella! However the flowers in the garden love the wet weather and it means that I don’t have to get the watering can out every evening – so there are good sides to every situation!

After getting married and moving house in the space of two days and then very soon after Shine4Life landing a 6 month contract and the chance to work with the Equity Research team in one of the largest financial institutions there has been little time to relax! My contract has been the most incredible experience and one that I will remember as my first major piece of work as an independent consultant. The people I have had the privilege of working with combined with the great team I am supporting has given me a new found strength and purpose but also has made me realise how right my decision was to leave my long time employers almost a year ago. I would urge anyone who is thinking about a change, contemplating making a large decision in life or simply wants something different to take the chance, be strong and believe in yourself 100%. You can do anything you put your mind to and if it is aligned to your true values as an individual there will be no failure and no regrets.

 Of course there were times when I questioned what I had done, especially when GMTV and Jeremy Kyle became my only form of company! However never give up, keep believing in your dream and things always turn out just fine. I learnt the true meaning of friendship and also learnt a great deal about myself and what I wanted going forwards. It was great to reach a point, stop and redesign my life that has been a truly wonderful, exciting, scary and exhilarating experience.

So my contract ends at the end of August/beginning of September and with a new found spring in my step and inner confidence and passion for what I do let’s hope that something else comes up that gives me another chance to work with fantastic people and organisations.

Aside from my contract work I am also still helping and coaching personal clients and one client in particular is flying to the moon! She has grown into the most amazingly successful artist and you can find her singing with her boys at Ronnie Scotts Jazz Club in Soho every third Monday of the month and also every Sunday at the Blue Posts in Rupert Street London. Her belief in the coaching process and faith she has placed in me has made her the most wonderful client to work with and I wish her all the success in the world.

On a personal note I also believe in walking the walk so one of my goals for 2010 was to go skiing, I spent 5 wonderful days with my husband and friends in Chamonix. After falling off the ski lifts several times, crashing into the side of a restaurant and watching helplessly as my husband flew past me with total lack of control ending in the most spectacular SPLAT into the side of the mountain I realised where I was going wrong…………. I needed wine and plenty of it and from that moment on there was no stopping me – Ingemar Stenmark – watch out!!!

So with my update almost coming to an end I would like to finish by wishing you all a great summer whatever you are doing, enjoy your time with family and friends and make the most of time, everything goes by far too quickly, look up, look around and live each day to the full. So often we take things and people for granted, not realising how great they are until they are lost – so my message and summer tip is to remember:

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t
own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep
it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it
you can never get it back.”

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Giving it ‘all that’!

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

Well January 2010 certainly witnessed some of the coldest and snowiest weather – some regions breaking sub zero temperature records, this had knock on effects for businesses, schools, families and society, I am always amazed at the chaos snow causes in the UK! – However we can now see the green grass again and new additions to the countryside in the form of white bundles of fluff!  Lambs always hold a special place in my mind as early memories of childhood include scanning the barn every few hours in the bitter cold to make sure our small flock of sheep and their lambs were all healthy, warm and happy!!!!

However we have emerged from the blanket of white snow and I almost feel refreshed and ready to take on 2010 with a new energy and enthusiasm, perhaps its because 2010 has seen a huge change in my life! Perhaps some of you have noticed my change in surname and yes that is because I finally decided it was time to get married, something I have to say a year or two ago thought would never happen but through my journey in 2009 and the life changes I made realised that I had someone very special in my life that made my world complete. So my begining to 2010 was a whirlwind of excitement and celebration that included a house move two days after the wedding!

So as we enter mid February and the days are getting longer, although not much warmer, I am have a spring in my step, sparkle in my eye as I now turn to focus on my business, new learning opportunities and great new ideas for Shine4Life. During the last few months I have spent a great deal of time submerging myself in new learning and coaching ideas that have lead me down a path that is very exciting.

As I was organising my wedding I began to realise that although there was so much to do in so little time I was surprisingly calm and my future husband and I had a clear set of goals and tasks in a large spreadsheet that we lived and breathed, but the beauty of this was it maintained focus, felt great when a box was filled GREEN and provided comfort that everything was under control.

This gave me the idea to develop a product that I could offer in the form of ‘EVENT COACHING’. This would offer support, coaching and planning to individuals and couples that were planning a large event. All too often I hear people that are having a total nightmare planning a big event, the expense and plans spiral out of control as temperatures rise and relationships hit boiling point! Finally when the big day comes it is almost a relief to get it over and done with and the main organisers never enjoy the event they have worked so hard to plan – so this is where Shine4Life steps in, by providing initial ‘brainstorming’ techniques, budget planning, resource planning and some stress relieving tips and techniques I can help support, plan and enjoy a big event. For more information please look at my website or send me an email … Event Coaching

So that’s a small update on my business plans for 2010, other avenues of work are taking shape and next time I will be able to share some more ideas and also hope to introduce my new business partner who will work with me on business coaching projects, workshops, senior management coaching and team building ideas and exciting new initiatives.

Lastly I wanted to share with you some ideas and exercises that are truly inspirational, thought provoking and certainly made me sit up and think. Brian Mayne, the founder of LIFT International delivered a 1 day workshop that I attended. The focus of the workshop was around ‘Life Mapping’ and some very simple templates to help focus, channel energy but most of all have inner belief and self worth. His work has touched thousands of people from business excutives to young children, I would urge you to have a look at his website and the work that he does. The title for this months blog was something he said that day; the real difference in someone living life to the full is ‘giving it all that’!!!! – so very true and something I want to make sure I work more into my life!! – Shine4Life will be ‘giving it all that’ in 2010!!!!!!!

I leave you with a short quote that made me realise the power of having positive thoughts and a forward thinking outlook, learn from the past, take those experiences and knowledge forwards and use them to make better decisions, in turn generating greater success & happiness.

‘As you think so you become’

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A snowy start to 2010

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

My last blog predicted a white Christmas and most people did see those white flakes on Christmas morning, snowballs and snowmen becoming the main attraction and pictures I saw were true works of art, the time, effort and energy of people that created incredible images from white fluffy stuff – remarkable! The snow also gave adults the opportunity to become kids again and the kids to get their own back on the parents by the way of snowball ambushing to the max!!

I certainly took the time to reflect on what has been a year unlike any other and one that for me will stand out as a significant milestone in my life.  Exciting, scary, unpredictable and full of uncertainties, all that have given me a different perspective on life and certainly opened my eyes to things this time last year I had never even considered or had thought possible. I have met some amazing people, invested time and energy into new learning and expanding my knowledge in areas that have been for me truly life changing. Becoming an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Practitioner in September has provided me with a huge ability to experience and see things very differently. Taking more control of my goals, dreams and becoming more focused and confident in my skills, abilities and capabilities; I would recommend this course to anyone serious about learning more about human interaction, body language, tone of voice and rapport building with individuals and teams. I aim to continue this learning and achieve my Master Practitioner Status in 2010. My other goal is to learn how to sing, a small goal to some but if you have ever heard me even hum a tune you would agree my poor teacher has an impossible task! – however I am determined to achieve this goal and will let you all know the release date of my first single!!!!

So as we move into the second week of January 2010 I have to admit at being rather side-tracked with other things and Shine4Life has been enjoying the fun of the continued snow and tempted to waste time building snowmen, sledging and enjoying mulled wine at Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland! I have, however, set a goal for the third week in January to share with you some exciting prospects and work that Shine4Life has to offer, including a desire to spend time in the small business and youth sectors – coaching teams and individuals to build business and career plan for young people and their future. So watch this space for news, events and updates on Shine4Life’s progress with these business objectives.

The reason for the reflection and cheeky slacking these last few weeks is that in June 2009 I attended a Goal Mapping event led by Brian Mayne – check out his website http://www.liftinternational.com/ doing this course I set myself 3 main goals, the first to have Shine4Life Ltd up and running and with paying clients, the second to improve my relationship with my partner, investing more time and energy into the importance of this and the third was to move into our own house in London that would be for us to cherish and make a true home. Well by September 2009 Shine4Life Ltd had been established, was displayed on the internet through this website and I obtained my first paying client, the second two goals have taken a little longer but I can say that the reason for my slight distraction has been because on the 16^th January I am getting married and on the 18^th January moving house!

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I not only believe in Shine4Life and what my company and I stand for but that I have adopted strategies and goals that I use with my clients in my own life too. By setting goals, sticking to your vision, maintaining the energy and drive and believing in yourself anything is possible and I truly believe that.

So I will leave you all with my very best wishes for 2010 – may the year bring everything you dream for and work hard to achieve. My next blog promises to be more business focused and share my 2010 goals and ambitions for Shine4Life’s services and products, until next time…….

A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I’ve played the friend,
Have lived and loved and laboured here,
And made of it a happy year.
~Edgar Guest

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Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…..

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

Well are we heading for a White Christmas? …… odds are that we could be opening presents on Christmas day with white, fluffy flakes covering the ground outside, building snowmen whilst the turkey is cooking and hitting the bulls eye (called uncle Fred) with a perfectly timed snowball!!

Well I have to report that I am adoring the cold weather, bite in the air and the way my breath makes dragon like effects in the cold air. It also seems that people are friendlier, have brightness about them and are genuinely being quite nice!!! Is it the effect of the final few days before Christmas and the fact that everyone if slowing down, Christmas shopping almost done, finishing touches to the arrangements to the festive season complete or is it the fluffy white stuff that has made people lighter and brighter?

For some reason I have noticed that weather has a huge effect on people and their outlook – the sun comes out and people smile, laugh and look at all the bright things in life. I know I feel a different person when waking up to the sun shining through the window, the smell of freshly cut grass and the warmth of the UV rays on my skin. This was also the starting point for my company; Shine4Life was a direct result of wanting to help people live every day in a warmer and brighter place, achieving those goals and dreams that until now had remained covered by a cloud.

The snow and ice it appears, has had a similar effect that the sun has – the bright white flakes, the crunch of ice under foot and frosty the snowman popping up in gardens and fields in various shapes and forms has put a smile on many people’s faces. Children particularly enjoy the snow, their noses becoming a copy of Rudolph the longer they spend outside and those soggy mittens being dumped in the most inappropriate places on their return to seek warmth!

I remember my first memory of snow – moving from 40 degree heat to minus 27 I vividly recall gazing out of the window, peeping through the 6ft icicles hanging the length of the kitchen window glistening in the sun. The fields were like a sea of white fluff, the odd footprint of an animal that was brave enough to venture out. I had the most attractive red all in one jump suit – this became my second skin for that first winter in Scotland – I am sure that’s where the idea for telly tubbies came from!

So my final blog for 2009, Shine4Life’s first year in business and what a year it has been. My next blog will share with you my plans for January 2010, new ideas and offerings that Shine4Life is developing and perhaps some festive stories to add some spice!– I am off to a Dickensian fancy dress party tonight at a wonderful little pub in Soho called ‘The Blue Posts’ where there is live music, fun and dancing, a wonderful way to end a weekend and something I highly recommend for everyone to experience just once – I guarantee you will want to return time and again however!

So with Christmas shopping STILL to do and final touches to my fancy dress costume I will leave you by wishing each and every one of you a Happy Christmas and I hope 2010 brings you all the many things you deserve………..

“Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance – each beautiful, unique and too soon gone.”

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Christmas is fast approaching……

Friday, November 27th, 2009

I don’t know about anyone else but as a kid Christmas was filled with the joy of presents, Santa, Snowflakes, Fairies and far too much to eat!

The sparkle of Christmas somehow dulls when the realisation hits that Santa could not possibly get down everyone’s Chimneys in one night unless he had jet propelled ski’s and a reindeer running on rocket fuel.  Christmas suddenly becomes a huge STRESS!!!!

I have looked at the reason for this and concluded that this is the only time of year where one feels compelled to spend time with people who they would not see on a week to week basis.  So why on such a special occasion do we all feel so tense and unable to be ourselves?

There are definitely ways to deal with this time of year and actually ENJOY the whole experience! I think the main focus being that large numbers of people in one or two rooms at any one time leads to high levels of energy (sometimes not in the best of ways!) It is mindful to remember that we are all here to celebrate one special day – take comments and remarks with a pinch of salt – especially when the Champers and Wine starts flowing  (followed by Brandy covered Christmas Pudding and a Bailey’s aperitif to top it all off)! 

Families always have the best intentions but sometimes it can all be too much – so here are some tips to take with you on your lead up to Christmas and the day itself!!!

• Take a deep breath and visualise the positive (even when stuck in those Christmas queues fighting for the largest turkey in M&S – think about how yummy it will taste)!
• Understand the importance of Christmas to others – some look forward to it all and others see it as just another day – no-one is wrong,  they just have different views
• Think about what you want to get out of the day – what it means to you, your memories and pleasures, and relax
• Make sure that during the day you are doing something for yourself at some point – don’t try too hard to make it perfect
• Finally be positive – Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t; I know it sounds stupid but really visualise that great Christmas day ideal and live it when you get there!
• But most of all enjoy the day and relax!

The Christmas build up has already seen lights being turned on, the sparkle of tinsel in the shop windows and ‘deals of the year’ (although you know the price will drop further after Christmas day!) I love the brightness and colour around Christmas decorations – it does lift the spirit especially when everything is so dark at this time of the year, however, as we move towards the 21^st December the days then turn and start getting longer again – more daylight and sunshine!

So remember that everyone is unique, we all like different things and that there will be people out there this Christmas with no family or hot Christmas dinner – something many of us will take for granted. Accept that there may be stresses – I know I see Christmas dinner as the highly likely event for me to totally destroy and burn all that I touch (I have not yet let you into my talent and flair for cooking!), but most importantly don’t forget to have fun.

At Christmas play and make good cheer,
For Christmas comes but once a year
~Thomas Tusser

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What type of Firework are you?

Monday, November 9th, 2009

For years as a family we never really celebrated Bonfire night but when I moved to Lewes all that changed.

Lewes is the utopia for bonfires and fireworks, I can remember as a student working in the Elephant and Castle public house the total bemusement when one of the many bonfire societies in Lewes turned up mid summer to begin their weekly meetings to prepare their efergy for the big night. Hours and hours of preparation would go into the designing and building of these Guy’s/efergies. The effort and detail was incredible, every society member giving undivided attention to the meetings.

So having experienced the wonder of Lewes bonfire nights I struggle to find anything that matches that. The heat, noise, energy and colours are truely amazing. I would encourage anyone to experience it just once!

However this year, despite many changes and challenges I had the most amazing night, surrounded by my friends, some old and some new, it wasn’t quite Lewes but it was wonderful. I realised the importance of appreciating the past, taking from it what pleasures and great experiences we have had and looking forward to other, different pleasures we are going to enjoy.

Bonfire night this year made me think about what type of sparkling firework was I? Watching so many different ones its hard to choose which one best represents me. What it made me realise was that each and every firework was spectacular in its individual way, and that we need ALL types of fireworks to make a firework display.

So when you have established what type of firework you are – remember that your sparkles and noise are needed just as much as the next persons – without you there would be no firework display.

I hope you all had a great Bonfire night and are all enjoying the fresh arrival of Autumn, the crisp mornings and nip in the air. As we move towards the festive season I will give you some ideas to reduce the stress and strain and make Christmas shopping a pleasant experience!

Until next time

‘Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.’
Ralph Waldo Emerson

PS – I cant quite decide what firework I am – it’s either one that makes a lot of noise or the one that explodes in the sky, with vibrant colours lighting up the sky!

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Countdown to the Festive Season…

Sunday, October 25th, 2009

As we approach the festive season I remember that I promised in my last blog a little history about me and my life to date  so here it goes…..

Growing up was non-conventional and certainly an experience, moving from 47 degrees to minus 20 was a memorable occasion but a realisation at a tender age of 5 that the world was a huge place! My father was in the Oil Industry and oil rigs combined with many different places in the world became a way of life; we of course followed him, although not onto the rigs!!

Moving from Oman being looked after by a nanny and fed curry every night to a remote croft in Scotland was indeed a change! So from an early age I guess you could say that I was used to adapting myself to any situation so it still amazes me that despite my desire for variety I spent the first 9 years of my working life in a bank!

However I decided that after 9 years working in a bank – although focused on coaching and mentoring as part of my job, was restricted by rules and regulations and never allowed to be totally  ‘me’.

So deciding to set out on my own in June 2009 I certainly gave myself a stretching goal!!! But as a coach I believe in doing what I encourage others to do – so the beginning of my journey began…….

Wow what a change! – from a strict routine of, up at 5, gym by half past and at my desk by 7 , to freedom, time, space and the ability to really focus on what I wanted to achieve. The feeling of being in control of ones own destiny and begining to develop and live those dreams is truly magical…

So I have shared a little about me, my journey so far and how much I am looking forward to building and generating a truly great coaching practise – one that adapts to people’s individual needs, requests and helps people achieve those life changing dreams and goals.

Next week I would love to share some stories of great inspirational friends I have met – one in particular who is about to embark on a sailing trip across the Atlantic – when a year ago she could not keep a rubber duck afloat in her bath!

So until next week – wrap up warm – appreciate the wonderful autumn colours and remember that;

Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.
Henry David Thoreau

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Shine4Life blog starts here…..

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

Welcome to the first of many blogs from Shine4Life

‘We can because we believe we can’ is my mantra and everything that Shine4Life stands for. Self confidence in yourself, who you stand for and your values is the key to making the most success of your life, infecting others with your positive, sunny attitude that makes their day shine too!

The simple things in life often have the greatest effect on your well-being and happiness. My aim is to work with people and help them find for themselves what it is they hold most important, what they want in their life and how they are going to obtain those goals and dreams in a realistic and practical way.

This blog is my way of communicating my ideas, tips, thoughts and own experiences on a regular basis. I want to provide you all with access to resources and support that together we can all achieve our goals and desires, but also working together to live a more productive and full-filled life.

So until next time where I will be sharing with you some great ideas about goal setting techniques for all the family that are both fun and motivating, I wish you all a great weekend, enjoy the sunshine and spending time with your friends, family and loved ones

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