As I sit down to write this March blog I am reflecting on a month of busy times, juggling suitcases, remembering the correct passport and making sure my many diaries are up to date and I am where I am supposed to be! – I have just about managed that due to my fantastic support Louise – without her goodness knows what plane, airport or country I would end up in – Thank you Louise!!

My work this month has been with a variety of different people, cultures and new challenges, it has required flexibility and openness to new ideas….this for me is very inspiring.

During this work it has become apparent that when coaching and working with my client’s success comes from ‘doing what you say you will do’ – when setting goals and actions for clients I have become far more aware of the value and importance of aligning these to the person/teams underlying values and desires . Very often I find when clients don’t achieve their goals they were not correctly aligned in the first place, the alignment to true belief and core values is critical. This experience (as well as personal experiences over the last few months) has inspired this blog and some thoughts from me that I hope will add value to those who read this.

So many people (me included) worry about things that are not in our control, whilst often this is very hard to manage, when done it releases time and energy for other things to focus on that you CAN influence/be in control of.  If you manage to do this life is a far more pleasant experience and something to enjoy rather than ‘get through’.  Every person is dealing with different challenges and situations, all relative and just as important as the other, for some this may mean applying for a new job, moving house, growing a family, for others this may be undergoing treatments or fighting illness. Each and every one of us is living ‘our’ life, whatever that throws at us, however hard it may get we still have a choice on the decisions we make.

I have realised this week that after coaching several clients there has to be an importance of accountability, placing emphasis and realisation that the choices you make in life, what actions you take and ultimately what you choose to do is up to you.

I find a great way to track, motivate and incentivise myself each and every day is to always have with me a small ‘action and achievement’ book, this for me is a purple notebook that contains my ‘to do’ list every day…. I take great pleasure in crossing off actions/goals I needed to do, am reminded of others I still need to do and on looking back through the many pages realise exactly how much I have achieved on a daily, weekly and monthly basis! This for me reminds me to be accountable, disciplined and takes control of what I can control…. Of course there are actions that don’t get done or am late at doing but we are only human & ‘don’t sweat the small stuff”!!!! I try to think I am invincible or Superwomen!!! However sadly this is just not true – I am just human and like everyone else….

I leave you with a closing thought and the purpose of my March blog:

A positive attitude brings strength, energy and initiative, Positive thoughts are not enough. There have to be positive feelings and positive actions.

Life throws curve balls in many ways, some you can catch easily, some are more sneaky and others are just impossible to bag…for now!!!!! I sat with a very good and new friend recently who made me realise that although we talk about ‘luck’ perhaps there is no such thing….perhaps we make our own ‘luck’ or the best of situations that come our way. My struggle with this is some people have more than their fair share of ‘bad luck’ but maybe this was for a strange reason…however I do still question this especially when at times life does seem SO unfair and unjust.

As I look forward to my next few months of busy travel to 10 different countries I have become very aware of the friendships I have made in the last few years, those that continue and also the new ones very recently I have made. I guess the purpose of this blog is to remind myself and all of you that there are many relationships you may have in life, some very old and sacred, for me this is very true, and others that have only just begun.

Life is incredible, one thing is for sure…every day brings its new challenges, sometimes painful, sometimes without reason and sometimes downright unfair, however it is what it is and we all have to make the most of every day, however hard it may be… For me the friendships I have had for a long time and friendships I have made recently are very special, they make it worthwhile to get up in the morning and look at each day with a new energy.

My final thought is to do with the most amazing and incredible girlfriend who laughed last weekend as she got on the most gigantic horse and giggled her way around the arena as the teacher and I were expecting a very subdued lesson only to be amazed at the determination that not only did she last more than half an hour – something I aspire to do! – but off the lunge line and told to have a walk round the arena she then proceeds to take it upon herself to pick up speed and go faster!!!!! Jo YOU ROCK!!!!!

I leave you all with a quote… no one knows what tomorrow will bring, life is precious, I thank my friends, old and new for making each day a great experience….

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln

As I sit to write this blog I have to reflect on the start to 2012! As we all cheer the New Year in amongst an explosion of fireworks and ‘bling’ followed by drunken promises to change the world, waking up the next morning reality hits, what has actually changed?? Very little as far as I am concerned, another dawn, another day and with it brings the same challenges that were there the night before, lets not kid ourselves!

Reflecting on 2011 I do with great fondness in so many ways, I have met many wonderful people, travelled to so many countries, worked with some of the most interesting and talented people I can only ever aspire to be like. As we move into 2012 my blog this month is all about looking to what we can control and tomorrow is indeed another day. Although learning from yesterday and the day before makes us smarter at dealing with the present and future it does not prove to be productive dwelling on yestersay, nor let it effect our drive and determination for making today a success.

2012 has certainly been a very challenging start for me this year, things have happened that I had no control over, this has meant a lot of decisions and changes were required to what I thought was the start to a great New Year, new contract and some very exciting work prospects. However I quickly learnt that there was no time for indecision, indecision makes every day an existence rather than a living, so I quickly needed to take some action. I will never know if they were the right ones but I do believe in acting rather than not, I would rather leave this planet knowing I had tried something or decided something that perhaps did not work quite as planned rather than regretting the fact that I had been too scared or hesitant to take action, life is too short.

Throughout the last month I have learnt so much more about myself, my friends and those I love very much, it has also taught me that we are only here once and never regret anything, learn from the less productive decisions you have made but these are there to teach you to make better ones, I suppose what I am trying to articulate is ‘take action’ – tomorrow is another day and if approached with conviction and energy whatever the day throws at you, and this can be many things out of your control, if you focus on what you can control, have goals, dreams and desires tomorrow is a far brighter and shiny day.

I end my blog by dedicating it to my Aunt Candy, the most amazing and inspiring lady who does all of the above, every day is a journey and adventure, and she infects everyone around her with a positive energy, infectious laugh and ability to make decisions and believe in them. She has done so many things in her life, experienced so much, travelled and interacted with so many cultures that I am always amazed by her drive and determination….Aunt Candy you rock!!!

I leave you with a final quote below…..We are all placed here to be unique, bring something different to the world and enjoy life, each and every one of us has the ability if we believe…..tomorrow is indeed another day…make it a good one!

 Believe with all your heart that you will do what you were made to do.

Orison Swett Marden

Well I can conclude I have learnt to be flexible in my approach to people and situations, something vital when you deal with different cultures, expectations and a multitude of demanding characters! and I have learnt that when I have not fully adopted this flexibility things have not been so productive – and you take note and learn from this, we can not be perfect all the time!

So 2012 sees another change in the work I am doing, I have been lucky enough to maintain a part-time contract with the Wealth Management house I have been working with this year, I can’t wait and am so priviliged that I have been asked to stay on. I also have other opportunities to embrace, this again for me is a change, challenge and new focus.

So as I was thinking about the theme of my first 2012 blog I realised that I never make New Year’s resolutions and anyone who knows me New Years Eve is just another evening and I do adopt a ‘stroppy attitude’ to being expected to go out and celebrate just because it is a certain date in the year!!! What new year does make me do is use this date to review what I have achieved, learn from all my experiences, some fantastic, some great and some downright awful and set a new vision, new goals and build a discipline around how I am going to achieve these going forwards.

Someone once said to me that they would rather be heading somewhere than no-where at all, this made me think about the way I approached my goal setting and realised in the past I was scared to set myself challenges that I may ‘fail’ at….I then realised that if you change your mindset to allow yourself to believe there is no such thing as failure, only a learning opportunity, everything suddenly looks a whole lot different. After that nothing seems impossible, if your initial goal changes that is fine, re-define them and ensure at every point in setting these they are aligned to your true values in life. If they are you will achieve them and best of all enjoy the journey in getting there, celebrating when you do and enjoy your life to the maximum, however hard the journey may be!

So as I wish all my blog readers the very best for 2012, I would like to thank certain individuals who have made my year an incredible experience, my dearest best friend who despite her challenges this year always taken time to meet me at a local pub close to where I ride at the weekends, today we met around a log fire and I can still smell the smoke in my hair as I write this!! another person is someone I met on my Middle East trips this year, he was so accommodating in making my trips so great and was always amazed that despite the change and challenge within the business maintained such a positive outlook!!!!

Life is very precious, grab every opportunity with both hands and I do believe everything happens for a reason, perhaps this is sometimes hard to see or believe but our destiny changes with our thought, destiny is no matter of chance but a matter of choice so despite circumstances out of control that may mean we have to deal with difficult times we can always choose our next path in life.

A closing thought (from my conversation today with my best friend!) Don’t sweat the small stuff! worry and focus on the things you can control and leave others to worry about what you can’t! I personally would rather live life saying ‘I wish I had not done that’ rather than regretting something I did not do for fear of failure. Success starts with small steps, life is a journey and not a race, enjoy each step for that makes the achievements even sweeter!

“One day at a time–this is enough. Do
not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled
about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so
beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

I have had the most incredible year with Merrill Lynch Wealth
Management, working with 300 Financial Advisors across offices spanning from
Tel Aviv, Middle East, Paris, Spain, Italy and London, not to mention my
favourite team in Dublin! It has been a once in a lifetime experience, meeting
and crossing paths with so many different cultures and people that I find as it
comes to an end I wish it wasn’t!

As a consultant and therefore very much a free agent with
regards to my next goal, mission and challenge allows me to be in charge of my
own destiny. This at times, actually most of the time, is scary as the future
depends on my past, how well I have delivered to date, what people think of me
and how I execute my service. It is also incredibly motivational as every day
when I do my job it has to be the best….. What I did yesterday depends on who
wants me today and I thrive on that pressure!

So what is this month’s blog all about?…… to be totally
honest I don’t know myself, just sitting here in an amazing country, surrounded
by new and sparkling things I find myself thinking about life, the future and
making the most out of every day. Recent events and experiences has meant that
to take things for granted is a very foolish thing, days and weeks pass, months
even and I forget special moments and events that made me smile, and make me
smile when I remember! Childhood memories are fond, teenage years and friends
should not be forgotten and life to date should be taken notice of, the good,
not so good and sometimes bad….. But hey that makes us who we are. I would
just like to mention two special people who I adore and have taught & given
me so much, Jo who has to be the strongest, most gorgeous lady I know, for
reasons she and I know! & for my long lost school friend Nats (aka Cratty
Natty!) who has also added so much to my life this year (as well as many years
before)

This year has been an amazing journey, I hope I won’t lose
touch with the people I have worked with and become close to, I have loved
every minute of working with Merrill Lynch Financial Advisors; they have
challenged me, kept me on my toes and been an inspiration to look up and aspire
to, it is not over yet and sitting in Dubai right now reminds me of the many
teams I still need to make a difference to in my last few months, so Dubai, Beirut
and Bahrain office see you this week, Milan see you next week, Geneva see you
the week after and John and team in Dublin see you in December!

As always I leave each of my blogs with a closing thought…
everyone can do what they believe in, just action what you say you will do…

“Once you replace negative
thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”

- William Nelson

Well I wouldn’t say I was in any way a master…far from it but what I do know is how my eyes have been opened and mind enlightened by the future possibilities and application of my new learning. MBTI( Myers Briggs Type Indicator) has enabled me to see things differently and reason with myself about why people do what they do and in the way they do and say things. This amazing tool allows the studies of Carl G Jung to be brought to the general public in a way that adds value without judging or categorising people. It brings an amazing way to help people understand themselves better and with that comes a way to appreciate and understand others too.

Do you often wonder why people say or do things in a certain way, I often did and still do but having learnt about human inborn preference now understand that some people approach situations and life in a very different way to me. That is not to say they are better or worse than me but just different! Difference makes the world go round, adds light and fun but can also be the cause of arguments and disrespect. My Gran said a very wonderful thing to me when I was growing up, I think I was about 6 years old and have never forgotten it, she said ‘Juli, treat everyone in life with the respect and love that you would like to be treated with, no-one is better or worse than you- just different’ - what a wonderful lady she was, I can’t say I have always done that but my goodness have realise that when I do life is a great place to be!

I guess this blog is really to share my thoughts around my recent learning, about the way people differ from others and that everyone has something great to give the world. Of course there are stories and people you hear about that are clearly not fit for society, and I am therefore not including them in my statement above, however I do always believe in most cases there is an underlying reason why those few people act the way they do.

So as I move into the last part of my contract with one of the best Wealth Management houses we have all the learning I have done will stand me in good stead for my next move and new challenges, I can’t wait, however I will miss the people and Financial Advisers I will have spent a year with, coaching and consulting across many different countries and cultures, they have all taught me so much and I am very grateful.

My closing thoughts for this month’s blog is to think about your preferred way of living, how do you like to live your life, how do you get energised and how you like to communicate with others, then look around and there will be people with very different preferences to you, sometimes may not understand ‘your world’ but they also have a preferred way of living. The beauty of how you can develop is to take a walk in other people’s shoes, get ‘their world’ for it is so much easier to work, love and live your life when you have an appreciation of others….. I will leave it there and wish you all a great Autumn, enjoy it as the leaves change colour, fall and provide that crunchy blanket to walk across!!

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

 I guess as I continue my journey through life I often find myself reacting to situations and making decisions that on reflection could have been more balanced! Many a time I have made a snap decision and gut instinct and it is not to say that it was wrong but had I applied some logic and ‘balance’ maybe the outcome would have provided me with less stress and more continuity!

As I watch many of my friends and peers make their journey through life it never ceases to amaze me the different approaches we all have. This makes me think that perhaps there is no right or wrong way to do things, however there is a way for each individual that maximises productivity, happiness and success. Some people and I would include myself in this, have a continued desire for change, challenge and when things become ‘balanced’ per say, they become ‘boring’. I can’t speak for anyone else but I thrive on variety, new people, new places and a new idea, my mind is happy when I am applying some fresh initiative and making a difference.  The question I often ask myself is why do I always need to be busy, what makes me drive myself so hard, often achieving things that I barely take a moment to enjoy before moving on to the next thing.

The other side of my chaotic and fast moving life is one that I yearn for, those people you see, just like my Dad, where moderation and logic are applied in a very considered and meaningful way, every decision is carefully scrutinised, pros and cons deliberated on a neat list in tidy handwriting that drives people like me mad!!! It is then that I ask myself what if I could learn to be just a little bit more like my Dad my life may in fact be more ‘balanced’!! – but do I want this or could my Dad consider letting go and follow his instinct rather than a list of which the intricacy would amaze anyone!

As I write my June blog, I guess I am talking out loud, sharing my thoughts and actually realising that is there any such thing as a ‘balanced life’? For some it may mean boring and mundane, others it is essential for their day to day existence, I suppose for every person this is different and it is what makes you ‘tick’ every day that is the key to living your ‘balanced’ life- whatever that may be.

 I still do look at great artists, singers, entrepreneurs and one thing you would have to say is that each and every one of them had a slightly bizarre ‘balance’ to life – so really is balance destructive to creation and individuality or does it serve a very essential part of helping us follow a path in life that remains in some way normal?!

As I close this blog I am currently sitting in a hotel room in New York about to spend a week with a group of Financial Adviser’s; this year has meant travel, unbalance and a journey into the unknown, all of which I have adored, however I do remind myself of the beauty of harmony when I return home to my husband and friends who without which my life would be very empty.

So you see I think if one manages to find a balance in life that works for them, allows the creative and brilliance to grow, yet maintains an element of structure and consideration that’s a very special place to get to…….I still have a way to go but getting closer during each and every day!!!!

In art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth.
Patti Smith

Throughout the change in my life this last year and the various experiences and challenges I have come across I have also learnt (and perhaps this is through getting older and wiser too!) that we are only here once and time is very precious. The people in my life are very special to me but have had some that were a drain, a stress and quite frankly sapped my energy and enthusiasm for life. As much as I would like to help, support and ‘carry’ people through life this is a poor use of my time; being carried makes you lazy, and when you get lazy you take things for granted, and when you take things for granted you become selfish, and when you become selfish you become a negative energy and drain on those around you….. We all have experienced being the ‘carrier’ and while I am happy to do this to some extent there comes a point when you have to take a reality check, what does this person or people do for you, how do you feel when you come away from spending time in their company and is it time for a ‘Spring Clean!!’???

It is true what they say about counting your true friends on one hand, and goodness I feel so blessed to just about be able to do that, some of the friends I count on that hand I have known for most of my life and some others are new joiners, what I have realised though is there is nothing wrong with changing these people, why should we keep negative aspects in our life still part of our life? One would not keep going back to stroke a dog that bites although I hear so many friends that continue to keep relationships that clearly sap all their energy, make for negative thoughts and feelings and all because they are afraid of change, challenge and being lonely. Now don’t get me wrong because I have been there and got many T-shirts for getting bitten again and again, but as my journey through life allows my path to cross with new people it has begun to dawn on me that relationships change, dynamics and situations alter but as they do instead of remaining static don’t be afraid to change with them. For me this means going back to find and in some cases ‘re-launch’ old relationships that I have realised were and still are very special to me and also it means dropping the people who make me feel exhausted and depressed after spending time with them.

Friendships for me mean laughter, freedom and being able to be me, not judging or challenging just easy and forgiving no matter what kind of day I have had. Spending free time that re-charges my batteries is an absolute must, we all work hard and often deal with conflict and challenges we are not in direct control of, why then in our free time would we choose to place ourselves back into uncomfortable or draining relationships when we have a choice to do what we want? I guess this month’s blog has been written as I go through this exercise myself, especially as my job and work time is so challenging and tiring that my free time becomes even more precious. As a good friend of mine said, whilst checking in to a champagne bar at 12pm on a Friday, ‘We only live once!’ it did make me think about the way and who I live my life with, we often don’t have a choice about the people we work with but we ALL have the choice who we love, support, laugh and spend our leisure time with…. don’t allow this precious time to be taken up with negative people, I have done in the past and so now adopt my ‘spring clean’ strategy that means I am blessed with people around me that give me energy, love me for who I am, never judge my life and in return I do the same for them….

As I start this blog I guess some of you are thinking about the title and what on earth I am going to write, well I kind of have that feeling too but what the heck, I am just going to write anyway!

As we enter 2011 and almost a month in I can hardly believe where the time has gone I have experienced some new learning throughout this month as I take on my third contract in the banking world, again a very different experience, group of people and challenge it made me think that in a year I have met and worked with more people than I ever did in my 9 years with my first employer. How had I managed to make this a success, and despite the contracts often disbanding into something very different from the initial expectations and job spec I feel that I have made a difference and delivered in some way!

Often we find ourselves in situations that we did not expect or indeed sign up to but it’s how we adapt and flex to these circumstances that determine our success, happiness and journey through life. How many times have you begun with a clear vision or goal only to find that when you embark on that mission you often find the outcome or indeed vision changes remarkably from the initial desire. I have come to realise from personal experience that the more open to change, the more flexible in your thoughts and mind you are the better the outcome (although different from the initial plan)often is. I look back at goals I have set and then the actual result I have achieved and have been amazed at the difference between the two!

 An example is my desire for a horse last summer, and having ridden in my youth had begun to miss the freedom, natural beauty and power of an equine. So in my usual spontaneous and haphazard fashion set a goal to get a horse! Now having not ridden for years and rather rusty to say the least had the idea of a schoolmaster who could teach me and keep me safe, however as I tried the various horses I quickly realised that what I enjoyed about riding was the unknown, the building of a relationship and challenge. So despite thinking I knew what I wanted I ended up purchasing a black 6 year old called Viktor with more attitude than a teenager with acne!!!!  A great lesson about flexible attitude and the ability to achieve a result that far suited me and my current situation

So I suppose the lesson taught me that without the ability to adapt and be open minded I could have ended up with a very different horse and who knows if it would have worked? Only one thing I do know is that Viktor provides me with ALL the feelings I have been missing for the last 5 years.

Having shared my one example and I could share many others but reckon you have heard enough! I guess the message and lesson I have learnt and still learning is to set goals, follow those dreams but be prepared to bend and flex to circumstances that are out of your control.

The most successful and fulfilled people I have met have this clear vision but are also realistic about life itself. No-one can predict the future, things change that affects their goals and plans, however they adapt and bend around these challenges, never faltering in their belief and ultimate aim.

As I leave you with my rather random title and thought this month I also wanted to mention a certain person who I met over 3 years ago and this person was someone who lived and adapted to all sorts, allowing him to embrace opportunities and live a life that was full of pleasure, travel and best of all provided all the people that came to watch him with the beauty and sound of the Trumpet.

Paul Bonner was a person who lived life as a man with dignity, pride and love for his music and sharing it with others, a true inspiration of someone who had his dream, adapted to situations, bent and flexed to realise his ultimate goal – one of the world’s best Trumpet players ever….. A true legend….

So as I always do let me leave you with a quote that concludes my blog this month take care and until next time……..

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”

Tony Robbins (American Novelist. b.1936)

This year for me has been one of the most exciting, scary, sad and challenging year I can remember and whilst I glance back at the variety of words I have used it makes me realise that life is full of ups and downs….. This I guess is life in all its glory!

The exciting part of 2010 included many personal and business goals being achieved, perhaps in greater ways than I had originally planned but also initial dreams did change along the way as I grew, learnt and faced hard lessons. This in itself has taught me that there is no right or wrong and that also it is OK to change your mind, adapt or alter goals according to situations you may find yourself in. The most successful decisions I have made were not originally part of the plan but developed as I did in my journey through 2010. I have made some wonderful friends, business colleagues and contacts and feel truly blessed with having such amazing people in my life; this has been the best part of the last year and opened my eyes to many different ways of life, business and realising dreams.

For the challenging parts of this year I have decided to look at these with as much of a positive attitude as I can, although I sometimes find it hard to find a reason behind the cruel nature of life. Some events this year have made me look at my life more closely and be thankful for the things I have, respect other people’s outlook and decisions in life whilst trying hard to remain positive and cheerful.

There are often times when I have felt guilty when moaning and complaining about the cold (and yes I do this a lot!) or other trivial things when others are at times fighting for their life. However I have quickly realised that we react to situations we find ourselves in, for some this may mean that the worst thing to happen in a day will be getting splashed by a London bus that totally soaks their new Jimmy Choo’s whilst for others it is simply staying alive for another day. The drastic differences in these two situations to an onlooker may be clear to see but for those two individuals they are both experiencing feelings and emotions for the situation they find themselves in. It’s hard to imagine how one will react to a crisis or challenge until you find yourself in the middle of it. Having empathy for others, staying strong for people and also accepting support when you need it is a special balance to find in life but such an important one too. I often remind myself of this fragile relationship with life which helps re-adjust my thoughts, re-gain logic and act rationally (although I have to say sometimes the heart rules head when it comes to the January sales and a Gucci handbag at a VERY reduced price!!!!)

 So as the beginning of the New Year breaks through the snow and rain clouds I want to share with my readers my excitement and energy for 2011. No-one knows what the future holds and my goodness sometimes I wish I could peep around the corner, just for a second to see what I was about to face but perhaps that would diminish my sparkle, energy and nervous anticipation for each day. What I will say is that as much as knowing what the future holds would make life easier in some respects it could be a recipe for disaster too. So as I come to the end of my first blog of 2011 I want to wish everyone with the strength, passion and determination to make 2011 a great year. Whatever you may be facing do it with the belief you can, if something doesn’t quite work try something different, you have not failed but found new ways to achieve your goals and dreams.

 Lastly I want to dedicate this January blog to a very special friend who is about to celebrate her 30^th Birthday. She is a bundle of energy, so passionate and full of life that just keeping up with her is one huge challenge!!! Her wish/to-do  list is so long and involves many different activities, continents and people that goodness knows how she will achieve it all, however I have TOTAL belief that she will, and the reason I know she will is because she believes she can do it!!!! – Happy Birthday Jo, one hell of an amazing friend and person!

Happy New Year and thank you to all my blog followers who continue to leave great messages and advice that I truly appreciate.

“Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”